5 Ways to Love (Or At Least Like) Your Work

Two years into the pandemic, America finds itself in a labor shortage. A global, deadly, contagious virus will do that to a country. Our perspectives have changed. We may have been able to overlook our disappointment with our jobs when we had social lunches, coffee breaks, and office gossip to look forward to. But staring into a monitor in our PJs for two years has snapped us out of our delusions.

Work just isn’t cutting it. It’s more than not making us happy—it’s stealing our happiness. And with some jobs not compensating for inflation, it has been the final nail in the coffin for many workers. People are saying goodbye to their jobs. Or at least, people who can say goodbye are saying goodbye.

But what about the rest of us? The ones that, despite wanting to hand in our notice, rely on a steady paycheck and health insurance? The people who, instead of saying goodbye are saying, “Hello darkness, my old friend.”

There’s only one way to get through a difficult situation you can’t change - you have to find a way to tolerate it. Better yet, like it. Better still… love it!

This is immensely important for anyone who chooses (or feels forced) to stay working. Being unhappy at a job has serious health consequences, due to the pervasive nature of work. It’s not a once-a-year stress that can easily be bounced back from, like an annoying relative staying for the weekend (phew! Glad that's over!). It's ongoing, at least 40 hours a week, not counting the preparing, dressing for, commuting, the work outside of work, and all the stress about work. We need long-term strategies for managing the unhappiness.

Since many of us are too busy brining home the bacon to explore this area, this blog may be a stepping stone to considering how you can make an otherwise stressful aspect of life something you may actually look forward to. Here are some simple suggestions for how to make your job work for you (not just the other way around).

1. Wake up earlier.

I know what you're thinking: Won't this make me hate my job even more? It's possible, but hear me out.

I used to wake up with just enough time to get ready for work. Read that again: "with just enough time to get ready for work." My entire morning revolved around work. There was not a minute for ME in there. It reinforced the message that my sole purpose for getting out of bed was to work for someone else.

When I started getting up earlier, I gave myself much more space and time to do things I wanted to do outside of work. It didn’t have to be anything specific. It was more a reminder that my life has other components and value that surpass a paycheck. Waking up earlier also made me more relaxed. I was no longer constantly in a stress-induced rush.

When we give ourselves more time before work, work becomes just one thing you do that day, as opposed to your sole reason for living.

2. Find positive counterparts to the negative experiences.

There's a technique in pain management to help people strengthen their attentional flexibility—the ability to redirect attention so it's not constantly on pain. Most people are not aware of how often they’re focused on their pain or discomfort, and how little they notice other, non-pain related things happening around or inside them. Many people with chronic pain or anxiety immediately fixate on the negative. It’s an autopilot response that happens in milliseconds.

The technique is simple: Focus on the pain/discomfort for 15 seconds, then intentionally shift your focus to a pain-free part of your body for 15 seconds, then back to the pain, then back to the pain-free part. Repeat several times.

By practicing this, you not only prove to yourself that you don't have to feel (notice) pain all the time, you also give your brain more options for where it can put its attention (it won’t automatically hone in on pain). Over time, this reduces pain itself, because how we view and think about pain can intensify or decrease it.

Now think about this technique as is relates to unpleasant interactions at work, with your boss, an annoying co-worker, a demanding client, or an unresponsive Xerox machine. It's easy to lose track of many positive (or at least neutral) feelings when we're distracted by things that bother us.

Whenever you catch yourself feeling or thinking something negative, take note, non-judgmentally, and find a positive counterpart. For example, "This radiator is so loud and it's annoying," could switch to, "This radiator provides good heat and I'm glad the office isn't freezing." It doesn't have to be an exact one-to-one match, but play around with it.

By all means, if there's something troubling you, it would be advantageous to address it. But for the smaller frustrations, give your attention a break from negativity and make space for pleasantries. When all else fails, ask yourself: “Will this be important in five years?” If the answers is “no,” then don’t let it bother you for five minutes.

3. Gravitate towards what you actually like.

Many of us are too caught up in doing a good job, seeking approval from supervisors, and getting promoted, that we don’t seek out opportunities that light us up.

“Look at me! I’m the fastest copier and paster!

“I can add up these figures on the Excel spreadsheet better than anyone!”

“Did you notice how efficiently I troubleshooted that internet outage?!”

Sound familiar? We’ve been given a role, a job title, and a salary (hopefully) to match, and society scares us into thinking we have to perform at 1000% eight days a week at whatever our tasks are, because if we don’t, someone else will get that promotion! How many of us stop to ask ourselves if we even like what we’re doing?

Ideally we'd all be paid to do what we love, and none of that bullshit paperwork. But here in the real world, even people who love their work have aspects of their job they hate.

Step 1: Identify what excites you, not just at work, but in life. For me, it’s writing and problem solving. Luckily, these things can easily be translated into my career. If you’re not sure what lights you up, start paying attention. Ask yourself:

• What can I do for hours on end and lose track of time?

• What can I do all day, every day, if money weren't a concern?

• What puts me in a flow state?

Step 2: Once you can answer these questions, lean into that in your current role. Warning, this may require speaking up. If you're a creative soul trapped in a suit and tie, you're definitely going to need to speak up. Depending on your role and company, there may be little wiggle room as to how you can lean more toward the things you're passionate about. But try.

Before I was hired as a writer, I’d tell anyone within earshot how much I loved to write. I shared my personal blogs, I wrote my own books, and I volunteered to write for my company, even when it was outside the scope of my job description. Eventually, writing became a part of my job, I was given an additional title as “Content Writer,” and more paid opportunities came my way.

So, now it’s your turn. See if and how you can add more light-up tasks to your daily workload. It may not be a 180-degree shift from what you currently do, but with each baby step, you’re bringing more joy into your career.

4. Have an honest relationship with your boss.

Speaking of speaking up, it's important to communicate your desires to your boss. Unfortunately, this tip may not be possible for people who have horrible bosses (I’ve been there), and if so, my apologies. Feel free to skip ahead.

For everyone else, listen up! Regardless of how talented and deserving you are, as long as you are working for someone else, it will be your boss who decides your livelihood at work. If you're a painter trapped in an office manager role, or simply looking for more responsibility in your current position, it won't help to keep these thoughts to yourself. You may not get what you want, or have to wait a while before you do, but quite simply, you don’t get what you do ask for.

An important note to keep in mind: This is a two-way street. This isn't all about you. If you’re asking for new, different, or more responsibilities, you have to consider what's in it for them. No boss, no matter how fair and lovely, will promote you or let you do different tasks unless there’s some benefit for them and/or the company. Be proactive and do the legwork ahead of time, so you can pitch a thorough proposal that serves you both.

Don’t be dismayed if nothing can change at that moment. By speaking up, you'll be top of mind when opportunities do arise.

5. Take a hard pass on office drama.

While you may not always be able to morph your role, earn more money, or make your job a joyful experience, you can, at the very least, make sure you're not adding to your misery. Getting involved in office drama and politics is the fastest way to do just that.

We have all gotten pulled into the gossip, the scandals, the rumors. Remember the #MeToo movement? I sure do. Talk about drama.

There’s a great quote for anyone who’s worked in academia: "Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low." Fights, nasty attitudes over literally nothing, false claims, power-hungry co-workers, jealousy, rumors, gaslighting.

I'm sure you have had (or are having) your own versions of drama, no matter what profession you’re in. But let me tell you, it's all the same: toxic and health-depleting.

So, as tempting as it is to be looped into the gossip, to watch the saga unfold, as intriguing as the rumors are, and as difficult as it is to remove yourself from it all, if you want to find more pleasure in work, it's essential to avoid the drama—all of it! Learn to say, "I prefer not to know," or, "Please don't tell me, please tell him yourself." Set boundaries. While this will not necessarily translate into a meaningful and soul-fulfilling career, it's a healthy baseline to work from.